EFT and the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and 

The Gottman Method Couples Therapy

How they are different?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and The Gottman Method are two powerful approaches in couples counselling. Both of them offer unique strategies to improve quality of your marriage and relationships. While EFT is focused on emotional regulation and emotional awareness, The Gottman method teaches you practical tools to create more positive experiences with your partner.

Through EFT you will understand your partner’s feelings and needs, their defence mechanisms, fear and coping strategies. The goal of this therapeutic method is to create a secure emotional bond between you and your partner. In a controlled safe environment your therapist will encourage you to express your feelings and and unmet attachment needs. You will learn to navigate through your emotions and respond to each other with empathy and support rather than criticism and blame. This approach will help you to replace your negative emotional patterns with positive interactions, and will facilitate building stronger and more resilient partnership.

The Gottman Method will teach you concrete tools to improve your daily interactions and build a foundation of positive experiences. Build on the vast research observing couples’ interactions, this method claims to predict wether your relationship will survive or not.

Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally-focused therapy (EFT) is a therapeutic approach to couples counselling grounds in attachment science, where emotions is considered as a guide for our behaviours. Of course all therapies include work with emotions, EFT is focused on our emotions, and is seen as a key to who we are. From EFT perspective,  avoiding unpleasant emotions is what disconnects us from our partner. So one of the main goals of EFT is to help you to effectively cope, regulate and transform those emotions to adapt to the present day realities.

You will enhance your awareness of your underlying emotional needs and practice new skills during to navigate through emotional world.

More about EFT

The Gottman Method For Healthy Relationships

The Gottman Method for Healthy Relationships helps to change negative emotions such as defensiveness and contempt into positive emotions to help to build the bond between partners. It’s a structured therapy that usually starts with an assessment and includes many practical skills that you and your partner will learn in the therapy environments and then practice between the sessions.

The Sound Relationship House Theory is the foundation of the Gottman Method which is comprised of seven levels of relationship development.

More about the Gottman method


Do these approaches work together? 

Both EFT and The Gottman Method are supported by extensive scientific research. By integrating these approaches, couples counselling can offer a sound strategy to address both the emotional and practical aspects of a relationship, leading to lasting improvements and greater relationship satisfaction.

Wha we experienced with couples counselling is that EFT and The Gottman Method complement each other really well. EFT is focused on developing emotional attunement helping partners to understand and respond better  to each other’s emotional needs. This process promotes a secure attachment between partners, making them feel more connected and supported.

On the other hand, The Gottman method teaches couples new ways of interaction. Partners start to notice when they start to slip into old negative patterns of criticism, contempts, defensiveness, and stonewalling. This method offers couples specific strategies to build friendship, share affections and admiration. Partners learn how to turn towards each other instead of away during times of conflict.

Together, these methods not only understand and handle the underlying emotional world but also equip couples with practical tools and skills to enhance their day-to-day interactions. While EFT helps in healing emotional wounds and building trust, The Gottman Method focuses on improving communication, problem-solving, and creating shared meaning and life goals. By combining the strengths of both EFT and The Gottman Method therapies, our couples counselling approach offers a well-rounded and effective path to strengthening relationships.

Rediscover Happiness, Embrace Joy, and True Connection with Vancouver’s Trusted Couples Counselling Services at Modern Therapy Clinic