How Does Relationship Counselling Work?

How Does Relationship Counselling Work?

Deciding to seek out help when you struggle in your relationship shows that you’re committed to making things better. It’s a big step forward. If you’re unsure about how relationship counselling works, remember that you’re not alone. Many people have had the same questions before. Asking for professional help for relationship issues is common and normal. Relationship counselling helps couples work on their problems by giving them the tools they need. Partners learn to talk openly, understand each other better, and work together to solve issues. Skilled relationship counsellors help couples identify deeper issues, resolve ‘unresolvable’ problems, reduce fights, and teach them ways to make their relationship stronger and happier in the long run.

What Relationship Counselling Can Help You With

Relationship counselling is a place where you and your partner talk about your perspective and what you think might be causing problems in your relationship. Here’s how relationship counselling can help:

  • Figuring Out Your Roles: In relationship counselling, you will understand you both contribute to your relationship and spot any problems or misunderstandings.
  • Talking About Beliefs and Values: You will have honest conversations about what you both believe in, what’s important to you, and how these things affect your everyday life together.
  • Dealing with Financial Issues: Money can be a big topic for couples. Counselling lets you talk openly about any worries you have about money.
  • Making Time for Each Other: If you’re struggling to find time to spend time together, counselling can help you figure out why and come up with fun things to do as a couple.
  • Sorting Out Parenting Issues: If you have disagreements or a different style of parenting, counselling gives you a chance to talk through your feelings and concerns and find a way to work together.
  • Handling Family Drama: Counselling can help you deal with problems that come up with your family, like arguments with parents, kids, or siblings.
  • Getting Closer: When things are tough in the bedroom or you have different needs for intimacy, relationship counselling is a safe place to talk about how you feel and what you want from each other.
  • Coping with Health Problems: Dealing with sickness, whether physical or mental, can be tough on a relationship. Relationship counselling can help you support each other through hard times.
  • Managing Stress from Outside: Whether it’s work stress or other issues that cause tension, counselling can help you two find ways to stay strong together, even when life gets tough.

How Does Relationship Counselling Work?

Relationship counselling can provide a safe and supportive space to explore your difficulties and help you find a way through them. Here’s how it typically works:

How Does Relationship Counselling Work? | Modern Therapy Clinic
  • Getting to Know Each Other
    The first session usually involves both partners meeting with the counsellor to discuss the issues they are facing in their relationship. Your relationship counsellor will need to get to know you both, your likes, your dislikes, your family history, and what makes you tick. This may feel like an interview at first, however as your relationship with your counsellor develops, the format will slowly become more conversational and relaxed.
  • Creating a Timeline and Goals
    Once your relationship counsellor understands your situation better, you’ll talk about what you want to achieve in counselling. Then, you both will pick the goals you want to work on. For example, you might want to improve how well you understand each other or find ways to solve disagreements. Relationship counselling is customized to fit your needs. There’s no fixed schedule or required number of sessions. You might reach your goals quickly or decide to keep seeing the counsellor for a while. If counselling is helping you, you can keep going for as long as you want.
  • Homework Tasks
    Your relationship counsellor will likely give you tasks to do between sessions. These can include things like talking more openly or doing specific exercises, like using certain words (like “I” instead of “you”, so called “I-Statements”) when sorting out disagreements. You’ll probably be asked to talk about how these tasks went in your next sessions.
  • Trust Exercises
    In relationship counselling, you might do trust-building activities like the “Trust Revival Method” from the Gottman therapy. You will be asked to identify moment in your relationship when you felt betrayed by your partner and asked to share how it affected you emotionally. Then you and your partner discuss how you can prevent future possibility of betrayal.
  • Intimacy Exercises
    Tasks like looking into each other’s eyes for a set time or holding hands can help you both feel more comfortable showing affection and being close. You might also be told to make a list of fun new things to do together. This can bring back excitement and freshness to your relationship. Similarly, you could be asked to write down qualities you like about each other to remind yourselves of the good things.
  • Monitoring Progress
    Your counsellor will regularly check in with you to assess how your relationship is progressing and whether the strategies and techniques being used are effective. Adjustments may be made to the treatment plan as needed to ensure that you’re moving towards your goals.
  • Long-term Support
    Even after you complete couples therapy, relationship counselling can provide ongoing support and guidance as you continue to navigate challenges together. Many couples find it beneficial to schedule periodic check-ins with their counsellor to maintain the health of their relationship over time.
Finding A Good Relationship Counsellor to Make it Work

Improving your relationship through relationship counselling is a big task, and it’s important to find the right therapist. Here’s a simple guide to help you pick a good relationship counsellor:

  • Talk About What Matters: Before looking for a counsellor, talk to your partner about what you both want. Do you want a counsellor who shares your beliefs? Or do you have specific things you want to work on, like bringing back closeness or resolving conflicts better?
  • Find the Right Kind of Therapist: Look for someone who’s trained to help couples. There are different types, for instance, marriage therapists, pre-marital or Christian counselling. Look for a counsellor who has the skills and qualifications to work with your specific issue.
  • Search Online or Ask Around: You can find counsellors online or ask for recommendations from friends or family.
  • Ask Questions: When you find some potential counsellors, ask them questions to see if they’re a good fit for you. Ask about how they work, what they think about certain aspects of relationships, and if they’ve helped couples with similar problems before.
  • Learn About Different Therapies: There are different ways counsellors can help couples. Learn about them to see which one works best for you.
  • Don’t Settle for Someone You’re Not Comfortable With: It might take a bit of time to find the right counsellor but don’t rush. If you or your partner aren’t comfortable with a counsellor, it’s okay to look for someone else.

Following these steps can help you find a counsellor who can make a real difference in your relationship.

Things to Consider

Relationship counselling can help you with the following things in your relationship:

For relationship counselling to work best, it’s great if both you and your partner join in. But if your partner isn’t up for it, you can still go alone. This solo therapy approach can help you understand your relationship better and find ways to make it stronger. If you do go together, it might be helpful to also have some sessions on your own. This way, you can talk about personal stuff (like past traumas or beliefs) that might be affecting your relationship.
If you or your partner are dealing with issues like addiction, your therapist might suggest special therapy just for that. Mixing this kind of therapy with relationship counselling can help with any issues that might be holding your relationship back. Whether you go alone or together, being open to counselling shows that you’re committed to making your relationship better and growing as a couple.

Other Benefits of Relationship Counselling | Modern Therapy Clinic
How to Get Started

If you are looking to strengthen the bonds in your relationships and overcome challenges with more ease – Our modern therapy clinic in Vancouver, Canada offers a comprehensive approach to relationship counselling, designed to the needs of today’s couples and individuals. Through innovative counselling techniques, we help you unlock deeper connections and foster growth within your relationships.
Our experienced therapists are equipped with the latest tools and strategies to help you effectively communicate, resolve conflicts, and overcome the complexities of modern relationships. Whether you’re facing communication issues, trust issues, or simply want to enhance intimacy and understanding, our sessions are designed to support you every step of the way.
At our clinic, we believe in the transformative power of therapy to reconnect and thrive in your relationships. By providing a safe and supportive environment, we empower you to explore your emotions, address underlying issues, and cultivate healthier dynamics.
If you’re ready to take the first step towards a happier and more fulfilling relationship, schedule an appointment with us today. Let’s go on this journey together and transform your relationships for the better.

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