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How to Prepare for Couples Counselling Online

How to Prepare for Couples Counselling Online

Getting ready for your first couples therapy online session might make you a bit nervous, especially if you don’t know what to expect. But going for counselling can help you and your partner find new ways to connect, trust, and support each other. Keep an open mind as you start this process. Your relationship doesn’t have to be in a terrible place for counselling to work. Just talk with your partner about what you want to achieve and what you expect from counselling. Here are some simple ways to get yourself mentally and emotionally ready for therapy with your partner:

1. Ensure both of you are fully committed to attending therapy together

Make sure both of you really want to go for online therapy together. It might be obvious, but if one of you is really excited about it and the other feels ‘being drugged into a therapy’, it can cause problems. Usually, one person suggests therapy, and the other is not so sure about it. If your partner is not eager to see a counsellor, try to understand their concerns without judging. Talk about their worries before the session. Remember, the more committed both of you are to therapy, the better it can help your relationship grow and get better.

2. Talk with your partner about the goals you both want to achieve in online therapy

Talk about what you both want to achieve in therapy with your partner. Once you both agree to start therapy, figure out the things you both want to work on during your online therapy sessions.

Ask each other some important questions to uncover these goals, like:

  • How can we become better as a couple?
  • Do we need to improve how we handle conflicts?
  • What’s our attachment style?
  • Is there any unhealthy dependence in our relationship?
  • Can we make our intimacy better in terms of quality or frequency?
  • Are we treating each other poorly?
  • Do we have common goals, and what are they as a couple?
  • Should we focus on improving how we listen to and support each other?

Once you know what you want from therapy, it becomes easier to find a therapist who can help you achieve those goals.

3. Prioritize comfort and fit when searching for a couples counsellor

When you’re looking for a couples counsellor, it’s important to focus on feeling comfortable and finding the right match. Therapists have different ways of working, so make sure both you and your partner are at ease with the one you pick. Take the time to read about therapists, watch any introductory videos they may have, and think of questions about their experience. Jump on a free consolation meeting with potential therapists to learn about how they work and then decide together wether it’s a good fit, for both of you. It might also be helpful to talk to therapists separately to make sure both of you feel okay about moving forward with in-person online sessions.

4. Free up time for your first appointment

Make sure you have enough time for your first appointment, and if you can, keep some free time afterward. This lets you think about things after the session, whether together or on your own, and take care of yourselves. If your appointment is in the evening, try to keep the rest of the night open so you can relax and feel better emotionally.

5. Prepare to talk about your personal history

Get ready to talk about your personal story. Even though it’s “couples” counselling, you’ll be sharing your own stories, memories, thoughts, and feelings that might not be about the relationship. The counsellor wants to know about your family history because it helps them understand how you connect with others emotionally. Your emotions affect things like how you chosen your partner, how smoothly your relationship goes, and even how it might end. Get ready to talk about your life in a deep way!

6. Choose if and what you want to share with your friends

Think about what you’re okay with telling your friends. It’s good to have different friends for different things in life because one person can’t be everything for us. For example, your partner can’t be your best friend, personal chef, and workout buddy all at once. But when it comes to couples counselling, don’t let your friends make you feel bad about it. You can choose whether or not to tell them. Just remember, your main commitment is to yourself and your partner. If you both have the same friends, talk about who you want to tell and what you want to say. This way, you won’t be surprised or make your partner uncomfortable. It’s all about what feels right for you and your relationship.

7. Think about individual therapy

While you’re dealing with relationship issues, don’t forget the benefits of individual therapy. It gives extra support for specific problems affecting both you and your partner. Some therapists meet couples together and also separately with each person. Make sure you know how confidentiality works: if you tell your therapist a secret for instance, will it be brought up in couples sessions? Others choose individual therapy with separate therapists. This way, there’s more neutrality because the therapist doesn’t know your spouse, so they don’t have any preconceived ideas about them.

8. Try to mitigate distractions

Develop a strategy to decrease distractions both inside and outside the room. If you have older kids, choose a room with a closed door for privacy. Establish clear expectations for them to engage in activities in another room, ensuring they understand when you’ll finish. Eliminate technological disruptions as well. Keep your phone away and disable computer notifications during sessions to maintain focus.

9. Reflect on the takeaways

After every session, take a moment to reflect on the key takeaways. Couples often set aside what they discussed until the next session, leading to a lack of progress between sessions. To enhance the effectiveness of the process, make sure to actively work on and practice what you’ve learned at home.

10. Respect each other’s privacy

In online couple therapy, it’s super important to respect each other’s privacy. That means giving your partner the space to talk without interruption and listening carefully. Agree on what information you’re comfortable sharing, and make sure the therapy platform is secure. Openly talk about any worries, set some basic rules, and use safe online tools. After the session, be mindful of each other’s boundaries in your regular talks. Trust grows when you both feel secure about keeping personal things private. So, by sticking to these simple rules, online couple therapy becomes a safe and private space to work through issues and make your relationship stronger.

How to get the most out of an online couples counselling session

If you’ve done face-to-face couples counselling before and are now switching to online sessions, you might feel that things are a bit different, and that’s okay! Here are some tips to make the most of your online couples counselling:

  • Plan some quiet time after the session: If possible, take a bit of extra time after the session before going back to work or taking care of kids. This helps because you’re at home, and there’s no travel time to process or relax before going back to your normal routine. Depending on your schedules, you could take a walk together or share a meal or a glass of wine to talk about the session.
  • Be patient, both during and after sessions: Like any therapy, it can take time to see changes in couples counselling, and things might even feel worse before they get better. Remember that it’s a process that may take time for helpful changes to happen. Use the time between sessions to practice the changes recommended by your therapist. Take notes during the session and discuss them together.
  • Stick to a regular counselling schedule: Having a set schedule for sessions can provide stability for your relationship. If possible, try to keep the same frequency and time for your sessions to have consistency in your online couples therapy.
  • Put in effort: Just like learning piano or improving test scores, relationships require work. Going for couples therapy doesn’t mean your relationship is a failure; it’s a strong step towards seeking support. Be true to yourself and allow your partner to do the same. Seeking help is a sign of strength.

Couples Counselling from the Comfort of Your Home with Modern Therapy

We’re here to help couples like you to get stronger through our Couples Therapy. Our skilled counsellors create a safe space for you and your partner to talk better and understand each other more. If you feel like the excitement is fading, our Couples Counselling is designed to bring back the closeness. We know every couple is different, so we give personalized advice to help you with your specific challenges and make your relationship even better. Start your journey to a happier relationship by booking a session with Modern Therapy. Visit our website to set up your appointment. Invest in your relationship today because a happier tomorrow begins with Modern Therapy!

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